STRUGGLES OF AN OVER-THINKER

I have been wandering too much lately.
As if I am trying to get lost.
As if I am collecting words to write this.
Does this title sound okay? I don't know.
So,for anyone's who's an over thinker, you probably understand the struggle
the need to find meaning in everything on a daily basis.

The one time someone rejected us,or the time when people left us?
It's the one time when we think we're never going to good enough.
We go through every memory just to look for the reasons as to why we got shot down.
Every memory becomes a slap in the face when we think it's our fault. Well it's not.
It's their loss.You don't have to change yourself to be liked.
Change for good, for yourself and not for others.
The right people will stay.
I promise.(well.)

We like to process all the things people say and do.
Those people who often give us quite of the cold shoulder,
well that's where our problems fixates on.
We suddenly rack our brains out with questions like,
"Do they know something about me that has offended them?"
Most of the times,they don't even notice that they had got your mind into overdrive.
For them, it's not a big deal.
We rank people's voice as to their emotions,and we suddenly feel like
if the person we're talking to raises his/her voice a bit than the usual,
he/she is angry.We then sum it up that we have something to do about the change in tone.
But more often, we're just paranoid.

People unfollowing, unfriending, disliking us is going to make us question everything.
And for us,it's not easy to let go of something.
Conversations over text are even more of a minefield, at times.
Mono syllabic replies from friends is something to think about.
We begin annoying them with our questions till they break or just shut us down.
Don't stress about over it(although I know you will).
The only cure is when your friends talk to you 'normally' again.
We can infer the meaning of lyrics of some song/what other person is actually saying,to the point.(according to our imagination)
And,We are great stalkers. PERIOD

Worst case scenarios are the only scenarios for us. We hop into scenarios which are absurd,
play hypothetical conversations in our head and drift away into a parallel world.
We can lose hours once our head hits the pillow.
Sleeping becomes a challenge when you think about that one time you had let a friend down
or some other disturbing memory.
We think about some incident that occurred months ago and we think about all the possible scenarios/outcomes
and end up creating a fantasy version of that incident.
We know how jokes are sometimes,half truths
and thus keep pondering over them.
In the end, we just let it go,
but not before analysing if he/she is really a friend.
When one compliments us, we can't seem to grasp if it was the truth
or simply the person laughing at how dense we could be.
not only do we doubt others, but we begin doubting ourselves.

We can be a little unbearable sometimes

Friends often get annoyed and it makes us stop and look at what we're doing.
And taking all kinds of decisions is a challenge for us.

We are mistaken as pessimists

Now, since we can't live through the moment with the devil-may-care attitude,
people think that we are negative thinkers but we're just realists.
We get affected by little things and so we tend to withdraw from what we think would hurt us.
But it doesn't mean we can't go ahead and live the present moment.
If you make us live in the moment, we'll hang on to you for life(well,)or till one possibly can.

I guess it's just hard to find people stimulating enough for that:P
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Written by : abhishekpd